Wednesday, 08 July 2009

• Missing Home

  
        At times I hate this place.!? I have the choice where I can take the road that I already know. The road that I am safe with, and that I have come to love or the new and unknown. The life that everyone sees me doing. But is that what I really want? I have always known what I wanted. And for once I just have no idea. I am a very quiet and shy person. I am in a new place and I just can't seem to make myself social. I've been here for a year now and as much as I love this place I don't know if this is it. Back home I just knew I was meant to be there. I was not popular so I didn't have the million of friends. But I did have a group of friends that I hung out with all of the time. I feel a little lost with out them here with me. It's not like I can pick up the phone and call them because they really don't talk to me anymore. Great Huh!? The people that I thought were my true friends are gone all because I moved. I never thought that me moving was going to change the way we all connected. Maybe I am the one that changed. I know what exactly I had to do when I got here. I don't have mommy and daddy paying for my college, I am working in order to save up money so I can attend. When I moved, I gave up my free college. Who in the hell does that right?! Well apparently I do. Being in this new place is so difficult. I don't have those friends that I am able to go out with and talk to. I feel like I do not fit into the new world that I am in. The only thing people do is sex, drugs, drink, and get into trouble. I did not do that stuff back home, so why would I change myself for these people I don't know. Everyone already has their own clique, so I would be the new girl. I don't want to go to Sonic's and hang out so I can meet people. In this place there is nothing that I can do so that I can meet people. It's bowling, or hang out at Sonic's. Does that sound pleasant? To me it does not. At the moment I am working at the pool! And I guess you could say I am making friends. But, well, they are all 16 and up. and I am 19. And they talk about the same stuff, sex, and drinking. I am not into that kinda thing. Apparently they have invited me out, but i rejected. I don't remember that day. And if they did what the hell would I do? What they do isn't my scene. I could always go back home. That sounds crazy i know. But maybe I just am not going to make friends here, and I'll sit at home. Do you know how friggin boring that gets. After a year of doing it. I think I am going to go insane. Maybe I should go back home =[.
  
  

  • 2:11 PM
  • 116 Views
  • 2 eProps
  • 4 Comments