Wednesday, 27 May 2009

• Dear Pillow, He Asked.

  
  
  Dear Pillow,
  
  It's me again. I got on a plane to go to Delaware on Saturday, May 9th. I was so excited to go home, to the place I've lived ALL of my life. Cory picked me up from the airport. It as awesome, and nice. On the 12th Cory took me to see a concert. Actually three bands played and my favorite played last. Three Doors Down was so awesome live. And during it Cory asked me to marry him. Honestly, I couldn't tell you what was playing at the moment because of the shock. I could not even give an answer. I wanted to say yes but a million reasons said to say no. After a long time of thinking i said no. I don't regret saying No because i know it's the right thing to say. But that's not the worst part. He took me back to the airport on Sunday May 24. I was absolutely fine until i walked through the security check. I started balling. No joke. I couldn't stop crying but i didn't want him to know so i stopped when he called. But as i was going to say goodbye on the phone because he was watching me they started so i hung up. I never knew a goodbye could be so hard. =[. And when he texted saying he was tired of saying goodbye he wanted the real thing, i cried harder. I as well want the real deal. But I'm afraid it cannot happen until that stupid car is LONGG gone. Or paid off. I can't deal with worrying about that stupid car. I could not live my life worrying about it either. As much as I love Cory because i know i love him. I hate that car. And i wont spend my money on that car because as much as he is paying for it he could have two cars for the price of one. Sadly i know in July if he comes he is going to ask me to marry him again. And as much as i want to say yes, i don;t know if i can quite yet. I act a lot more mature of my age than most people do. But is marriage for me? Not sure.
  
  Love,
  Uncertian Me.
  

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